Korean Dramas… it’s a serious addiction

Posted on September 19, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

I am ridiculously addicted to Korean Dramas.  I stumbled upon them on accident five years ago and have been hooked ever since.  They’re usually 16 to 20 episodes of awesomeness.  And now Netflix offers them on instant download, which means my social life is going to be put on hold until I’ve watched all of them, seriously I had a hard time just making it to work today.

So why the love for the awesomeness?  Easy, I’ll give it to you in my own top ten.

Top 10 Things you can always rely on in Korean Dramas:

1. There will always be an ice skating scene.

2. There will always be a karaoke scene.

3. There will always be a race to the airport to stop the girl/guy from leaving scene.

4. There will always be a “pretty woman” scene, when the guy takes the girl on a shopping spree where he’s always surprised how beautiful she really is… dork.

5. There will always be a “save the girl” scene.  This is usually the guy pulling the girl back from getting hit by a car, truck, train, bike, snowboarder, or run away cart OR saving her from drowning, can’t believe I almost forgot the drowning.

6. At some point the girl will get drunk and he’ll have to carry her home, where he will almost kiss her until she throws up on his shoes.

7. The two star crossed lovers will always hate each other at the beginning, until they have the flash back montage moment and they realize that they really love each other.

8. There will always be a mean girl trying to steal the main guy away and she is usually always prettier then the hero girl, which makes you hate the mean girl even more.

9. There will always be a best friend guy that loves the hero girl, but never gets her.  Which makes you sad, but they’ll sometimes make up for it by slapping him with the mean girl at the end, don’t worry she’s usually becomes nice by then.

10. There will always be a huge misunderstanding at the end that almost tears the couple apart.  But, with the help of the reformed mean girl and best friend guy, they race back to each other… usually at the airport.

Just a few of my favorites

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My Blog is 6 Months Old… Was That Time Wasted?

Posted on September 15, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

My blog is 6 months old… I feel like it’s been longer.  This thought started up a conversation with me and myself.

 Me:  What are other things we could have been doing in those 6 months?

 Myself:  Well per Lifehacker.com “Real Body-Changing Fitness Takes At Least Six Months”.

 Me:  Well crap, I could be fit right now… HA HA HA. No, really let’s be serious.

 Myself:  We could be six months pregnant.

 Me: … I SAID SERIOUS!

 Myself:  Ok.  The time frame from when you’re exposed to HIV to the time you test positive for HIV antibodies can be up to 6 months.

 Me:  DUDE… too serious.

 Myself:  Make up your mind.  You can us a B-1 Visa to visit a country for 6 months.

 Me: Sweet!  I could have been traveling the world!

 Myself:  Ya, but since you’re only comfortable going to places that speak English your options would have been limited.

 Me:  blah blah blah, what else?

 Myself:  Some states require a divorce waiting period of 6 months.

 Me: … what are you trying to say Myself?

 Myself:  It takes 6 months to produce an episode of The Simpsons.

 Me: Stop trying to change the subject… really 6 months for 1 episode?

 And after that we had a long discussion over which was the best Simpsons episode ever, and that of course caused a fight and now we’re not talking to each other.

 But anywho… HAPPY 6 MONTHS EVERYONE!!!

Thank you Google Image search for giving us this awesomeness

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Childhood memories OH GOD OH GOD WE’RE GONNA DIE

Posted on September 14, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

I’ve had a few several many near death experiences in my life. I really gotta hand it to my Guardian Angel, that lady has been able to divert trains, semi-trucks, boulders, reattached a bungee cord, kept 2 trucks and 1 car from flipping with me in them, and put out fires… literally. (If you recall I accidentally set myself and the bathroom on fire.)  But she probably wouldn’t have had to work SO hard if 1. I was smarter AND 2. I hadn’t had my childhood friend… Becky.

Becky was, and still is, a great friend.  She was always up for anything, loved to laugh, always had your back, but… putting Becky behind the wheel of any moving object was like playing russian roulette, with all the bullets in the chamber.  But that didn’t keep us from playing the game. Why?

Okay, the first thing you need to understand is that growing up in a small town really forced you to find amusing ways to spend your time.  When you were in elementary school this was easily done with your trusty bike.  Sparkle ribbons on the handlebars, stickers on the banana seat, and playing cards stuck in the spokes.  You would use that beauty to go to friends houses, parks, anywhere really… as long as you stayed in your neighborhood and NEVER crossed the highway.  But why would you?  What fun did the highway offer?  That question was quickly answered when the high school years came and we received our driving license.

A license in a small town is like a passport to new and exotic places, places like Post Falls and Spokane.  Having a license ment freedom and adventure, but ONLY if you had a car, which most of us didn’t… except Becky.  Aaaahhhh, so  now you’re begining to see why we adventure craved teenage idiots agreed to play the  game.

There were many “adventure” had in Becky’s car.  But the one that REALLY sticks in my mind is the YOU’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT, WE’RE GONNA DIE! adventure.

It started innocently enough with Becky and I driving out to Coeur d’ Alene, they had a Target… trust me this was a big deal.  So we’ve only been on the road for about 15 minutes when I noticed the sign ahead stating that the 2 lanes would be merging into 1 up ahead.  I decided to point this out to Becky incase she missed it, as at that time she was going 80 miles an hour attempting to pass the long line of cars to our right.

Me: Becky you’re gonna need to merge over, this lane ends.

Becky: I will, just wanna pass a few more.

Me: Becky, honey the lane is coming to an end.

Becky: Almost past them all.

Me: BECKY! The lane is ending!

Becky: I know but this jerk wont let me pass!

Me: BECKY YOUR IN THE ON COMING TRAFFIC LANE!

Becky: It’s okay it’s a dotted line I can pass.

Me: BUT THERE’S A SEMI COMING!!!

Becky: I’ll pass before then, is this asshole speeding up?  HEY GRANDMA LET ME PASS!

Me: BECKY SEMI! BECKY SEMI! BECKY SEMI!

Becky: Oh shit.

At that point I put my feet on the dashboard, held on to the oh shit bar with both hands, and began saying my goodbyes.  I could hear the semi’s horn, screeching tires and then a sudden jerk…

After a few seconds I opened my eyes.  WE WERE ALIVE!! We hadn’t hit the truck and were in the right lane, just driving along.  I looked over at Becky who looked extremely calm, white as a sheet, but calm.

Me: Becky… OH MY GOD… that was so fucking close… I thought we were… WOW… I totally closed my eyes, what happened?

Becky: I did too.

Me: What?

Becky: I did too, I closed my eyes.  I mean I thought that was it, the end, game over, so I closed my eyes.

Me: YOU WHAT!?! You’re the driver! THE DRIVER CANN’T CLOSE HER EYES!  Well you must have jerked the wheel to the right, like an instinct.

Becky: The wheel did turn… but Mona I swear, I didn’t do it.

Me: oh… Shit you really owe my Guardian Angel, she saved your ass.

Becky: How do you know it wasn’t my Guardian Angel?

Me: I’m pretty sure yours has either quite or died from the stress of the job.

Becky:  oh

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Dude, It’s 8AM… Are You Drunk?

Posted on September 13, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

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Is It Bad Luck Or God Being A Jerk?

Posted on September 12, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

Well Crap

Hubby and I were both raised Catholic, which means neither of us has any desire to go to church now that we’re on our own and away from our families.  But I’m beginning to think that God is sending “subtle” hints that Sundays will be plagued with mini disasters until we do.

Example #1 – “God stop showing people my panties”

Naturally CIA Cat is working with God to ruin my Sundays and proved this by shoving her whiskers up my nose at 6:00am in an attempt to get me up… it worked.  But joke on her as we were out of cat food.  HA… Oh… no… joke on me, instead of feeding her and going back to bed, I now have to go to the grocery store… Joy.

So now at the grocery store with the other heathens… got to admit we’re not a good looking group.  Tall skinny guy talking to the cucumbers about the weather in Chile, lady in pjs, robe, and bunny slippers grasping onto a bag of coffee grounds like it’s the last bag in the world, and grandma with a full head of curlers using her powered chair to run over my foot as many times as possible while we both go after the last cans of Happy Cat pate. HA! She didn’t have a chance. What!? There was a sale! 10 for $1!!

So I grabbed some other necessities and headed back home.  As pulled into the garage I actually thought I was in the clear and would be back in my bed in 10 minutes… wrong.

With my arms full of grocery bags I slammed the trunk shut and turned to walk away… but I couldn’t… why not?  I had shut my skirt in the trunk… oh it gets better… when I realized this I dropped my keys in surprise… ya.  So while still grasping my 100 cans of cat food I attempted to kneel down to get my keys, causing my skirt to ride up, I jumped back up.  I stood there for a minute… ok Option 1 is to just quickly kneel down, with skirt up around head, and grab keys… or Option 2 wait for someone to pull in the garage to help… at 6am on a Sunday… crap.  So I decided on Option 1. Naturally right when I knelt down enough to show the world my lady parts I heard it.

“*cough*… um… do you need help?”

I began praying that was an extremely husky woman’s voice.  I turned around… it wasn’t.

“ha ha… hello sir… ya… So I seemed to have locked my skirt in the trunk and my keys are right down there… Could you help me out?”

Bad Timing Dude: of the skirt?
Me: …
Bad Timing Dude: sorry you’re probably not in a joking mood huh?
Me: No… not right now.
Bad Timing Dude: okay, here ya go
Me: thanks
Bad Timing Dude: need anyth…
Me: NO… thank you.

I made it to my apartment and quickly checked to see what undies I was wearing.  What!? You would have done the same thing! I mean ya gotta see what he saw!!  Good news, it was my pretty flower undies… Bad news, my pretty flower undies are see-thru lace… ha ha God… ha ha.

AMEN!

Okay so you’re probably thinking this was bad but not God inflected right… well I’m not done.

Example #2 – “What’s better than a cup of boiling coffee in your lap? TWO CUPS!”

Hubby woke a couple of hours later to the wonderous smell of bacon, my secret weapon to get him out of bed. 

Hubby: mmmmmmm bacon.

Me: I know right?!? That’s the way to wake up… not with whiskers up the nose and basic instinct moments.

Hubby: huh?

Me: *sigh* I’ll tell you after coffee.

Hubby: Why is it so hot in here?

Me: It’s 100 outside and I’m baking bacon in here… oh and we’re heathens so this is God preparing us for the end.

Hubby: huh?

Me: Ignore me.

Hubby: Done.  I’m turning on the air conditioner.

Now to do this hubby has to stand on the couch and lean over to the unit.  Usually this is easy and done quickly… but lets not forget CIA Cat is on a mission from God.  Hubby came off the couch on her tail causing her to scream like a banshee causing Hubby to jump sideways taking me out and the two cups of coffee I was caring.

Hubby: (face down on the floor) GEEZ!! You okay babe? Did the coffee spill on the couch.

Me: … no *whimper*

Hubby: That’s good. (looking over at me) oh babe.

I am, of course, covered with hot coffee… can’t get any worse you think… wait for it.  As I attempt to get up I grab the book-case, causing that piece of crap bookend to topple, sending all the books on my head… hardbacks.

Lets just say at that moment the lords name was said many times in our house, probably not the way it’s used in church but he’s just gonna have to settle with that.

Wow... thanks?


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If You Can Remember The Entire Party, You Obviously Didn’t Have An Awesome Time

Posted on September 9, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog


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Evil Purple Unicorn is back… and he’s got friends

Posted on September 8, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

If you are a loyal follower of my blog (which of course you ALL are so no fear there) you know about the Evil Purple Unicorn that tried to convince me to murder the nice Korean shop owner downstairs.

THEN the evil purple pony returned when a friend (with a death wish) was convinced (brainwashed) to buy the horned devil for her daughter.

Well people, brace yourselves, because I was just sent this picture from my dear fucked up friend, titled “They’re coming for you”.

20110908-080320.jpg

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I’m not pregnant, you’re just a bad singer

Posted on September 7, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

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When did Britney die?!

Posted on September 7, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

Tif: I need coffee before I get homicidal all over this place.

Me: … wow that’s intense, hold on where’s my purse?

Tif: Next to your foot.

Me: … oh ya… where’s my debit card?

Tif: MONA!! You do this every time! Seriously, if I don’t get coffee in the next 10 minutes you’re my first victim.

Me: Found it! ha ha ha… Oops I almost did it again…

Tif: Don’t you dare.

Me: I played with your mind… Oh Baby Baby!

Tif: I’m not kidding about killing you.

Me: Ya, you had thought I lost my card… keeping you from your coffee… OH BABY BABY!

Tif: Mona, Britney is dead you should let her songs rest too.

Me: Britney’s not dead.

Tif: She’s not?

Me: No

Tif: huh

Me: HA!

What y'all mean I'm dead!!

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What do you mean you DON’T want to look in my bra?!

Posted on September 6, 2011 by But That's For Another Blog

Last weekend a group of some of my favorite ladies decided to go on a boat tour… a three-hour tour… ya I think you’re beginning to get the idea of the horror that could possibly follow.  BUT before we left we had to make sure we had everything we needed for our trip.

Sun Screen – Check
Adorable Dress – Check
Cameras to capture all the Awesomeness – Check
Large amounts of alcohol – CHECK

Everything was set and we were on our way to having a lovely trip, when I received a SHOCKING text.

~ Mona EMERGENCY NO personal liquids allowed on boat.  They have bar but drinks R $$$ and WEAK!!!

HOLY CRAP!! This is not good. Okay don’t panic. Simple solution… smaller bottles… and well thought out hiding spots.

I quickly sent out the word to the other ladies and the ideas started flowing in:

Bra… Naturally
Shoes… um ow but what ever works for you
Purses… amateur, that will be first place they look
Hidden compartment in purse… NOW you’re talking
Hair… ?
Hidden in hair up-do… aahhhh, impressive
My WaHoo… Honey no one needs a drink that bad

So with the hiding spots picked we met up at the dock.  We entered the check-in point and I was already forming excellent responses to any questions they may throw at me.

Example:
Security Dude: Ma’am, I can’t help but notice that your bosoms are abnormally protruding.

Me: Why thank you kind sir, but I’m married *wink*.

Security Dude: … ok… but it’s almost like there’s 2 small gin bottles wedged underneath each of them.

Me: Sir, I declare! You do know how to make a girl blush.

Security Dude: … ok… and may I ask why you are carrying an umbrella on a sunny day with no chance of rain?

Me: My mama always said a girl should be prepared for anything.

Security Dude: … ok… but I can’t help but notice it has a wine bottle like shape to it… would you mind opening it?

Me: *GASP* and risk giving you 7 years of bad luck!? A lady does not do such things!

I have no idea why I’ve become a southern belle in this scenario, but I like it!

So we entered the check point and I was the first one in our line of lies.

Security Dude: Name

Me: Mona

Security Dude: ID

Me: Ta da!

Security Dude: Thank you, Next.

Me:… what?

Security Dude: Next

Me: but, but don’t you want to check my purse or ask me questions about my cleavage?!

Security Dude: … um no?

Me: But, but, but…

Tif: (jabbing me from behind) Move along Mona!

Me: (grumbling) fine.

So there ya go, after all that ENGENIUS sceaming, they never even checked our bags.  I’ve never been so disappointed in a security check point in my life… it’s like they trusted us to just be honest… that’s SO un-American!!

Those were the good old days. Don't worry kid, your liquor bottles are safe.


 

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