It’s finally done! Ashley and I have recorded, edited, and (after much swearing, crying, and threatening my computer with bodily harm) posted our first episode of 2 Geeky Girly Girls (a.k.a. 2G3)… enjoy!!
SUBSCRIBE HERE… well actually down there
I’m a Movie Star!… kinda… not really…
Posted in Humor
Tagged addictions, Friends, funny, geeky, girls, Humor, laugh, podcast, videoblogging
7 Comments
Nice burn… mom.
While walking home from work today I tripped on a curb, while talking to my mother on the phone.
Me: WAAHH!
Mom: What happened?!
Me: I just tripped on the curb.
Mom: So you lied.
Me: What?
Mom: When you answered my call, you said you could talk while you walked… you lied.
Me: Dude… Mom, you just totally burned me.
Mom: I did? How?
Me: aannnddd you just did it again.
Mom: I did? Wow, it’s really easy to burn you!
Me:… I’m hanging up now.
Mom: Okay, bye sweetie!
Me: bye Mom.
Podcasting for Dummies
Filming of the 2 Geeky Girly Girls (2G3) video podcast has begun… and… well… let’s just say it’s been quite a learning experience.
Lessons Learned:
1. It is NOT POSSIBLE to record a 15 minutes episode without any mistakes.
2. DO NOT brag to your friends that you wont have to do any editing for your podcast… you will… lots of it, refer to #1.
3. DO NOT start your podcast with “Hidey, Howdy, Hodey, Hows ya doing?!”, this will cause your co-host, sitting next to you, to snort her special episode cocktail, which, while hilarious, is bad, refer to #1.
4. DO NOT sample the special episode cocktail too many times before filming, refer to #1.
5. DO NOT go off script, I made the mistake of quizzing Ashley on the name of the actress who plays Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory, she couldn’t remember and yelled at me for “degeeking” her in front of our viewers, this caused a girly slappy fight to break out, refer to #1… (p.s. her name is Mayim Bialik).
6. DO NOT have your hubby in the same room that you’re recording in, he will talk to you… while you’re recording… even though you told him NOT TO… none of your viewers care if he should add toilet paper to the grocery list!…, refer to #1.
7. DO feed your cat before recording, refer to #1.
8. DO NO feed your cat catnip before recording, refer to #1.
9. DO have your hubby tell you when he’s hit the record button on the camera, refer to #1.
10. DO NOT update your co-host on the status of your Brazilian wax, after hubby has hit record and not told you… refer to #9 and #1.
We’re still waiting for BlipTV to approve our site, but favorite our page now so you’ll be all prepared for the geeky girly awesomeness! http://blip.tv/2geekygirlygirls
Why Billy! You Rascal You
I’m currently trying to get Ashley to join me in the horror joys of owning a cat.
My past assaults have been to email her a barrage of cute kitty pictures to weaken her defenses, nothing makes you question your dislike for the feline family like a Cheezburger kitty tilting its head sideway and asking you to “wuv mee?”… granted this could also strengthen somes dislike, but whatever.
However, this morning I found an advertisment for a cat on Craigslist that had so much… class, pinosh, character, that I had to email his information to Ashley immediately.
From: Mona
To: Ashley
Subject: Billy
I know he’s not a kitty but he’s only 3 AND quoting from the ad, “Talks to you, licks your nose, follows you around, and listens when you tell him to go lay down!”. HE’S THE PREFECT CAT FOR YOU!!! And look how dashing he looks.
From: Ashley
To: Mona
Subject: Re Billy
He listens? I didn’t know cats could do that.
From: Mona
To: Ashley
Subject: Re Re Billy
BILLY CAN! And I really don’t think you’re appreciating how debonair this cat is!!!
From: Ashley
To: Mona
Subject: Re Re Re Billy
Debonair… really? I don’t see it.
From: Mona
To: Ashley
Subject: Re Re Re Re Billy
BAM! Your mind blown.
Mona Primo… I blame my father
Primo.
In Spanish it means Cousin… the male cousin.
The Italians view it as the First, or the Best.
Urbandictionary.com defines it as “a joint with a sprinkling of cocaine”.
And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it at my local grocery store as the name of a brand of dog food.
But, I can top all those, well maybe not Urbandictionary.com. Primo is my middle name… seriously… I’m not making this up… on my birth certificate and everything.
I’m not sure who I blame more for this; either my father, who came up with the Mona Primo combo, or my mother who wasn’t paying close enough attention at the time.
Let me clarify, I was a boy. Okay that probably didn’t help clarify much. Per the sonogram, I was supposed to be a boy. I must have been doing the old finger point between the legs, Hah, classic baby Mona move.
Now mom’s told me the main points of what was said during the time that lead up to my name, but I’ve gone ahead and filled in the rest, trust me I’m sure the below is spot on.
So one night my mother was inspecting the inside of the fridge, 9 months full and so very ready for me to get out. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table with a baby book and a calendar.
Dad: Honey… Ellen… Ellen… Honey… Ellen
Mom: WHAT!?!
Dad:… nothing
Mom: Sorry, I’m just so pregnant and hungry and pregnant. What’s up?
Dad: I was just looking at the calendar, and if you have the baby next week it will be born under a full moon!
Mom: Oh god, I hope we have him sooner than that! I want to see my toes again, I have the cutest toes, I miss my toes.
Dad: There still there, but honey did you know that Moon in Old English is Mona?
Mom: Fascinating, what happened to the pie that was in the fridge?
Dad: You ate it about 20 minutes ago.
Mom: … oh ya.
Dad: Mona’s a girl’s name isn’t it?
Mom: Sounds like it. What about the chicken from dinner?
Dad: You ate it all. So if we had a girl we could name her Mona.
Mom: Are you sure I ate it all? I swear I remember wrapping up leftovers to put in the fridge.
Dad: You ate them on the walk to the fridge. So if we have the baby next week during the full moon and it’s a girl, we could name her Mona.
Mom: … I seriously don’t remember eating the leftovers. Gene we already had the sonogram, it’s a boy, Paul Michael.
Dad: Ya I know… but wouldn’t it be so great having girl when we thought it was going to be another boy? We could say she’s our one and only girl, she’s… she’s… our Primo Girl!
Mom: Okay so if I ate the chicken and the pie, why am I still hungry? Do we have cookies?
Dad: You’re pregnant. So if we have the baby next week and there’s a full moon and it’s a girl, we could name her Mona Primo?
Mom: GENE, seriously, if it’s a girl you can name her whatever you want, now where are the cookies!?!
Fast forward a week later, under a full moon.
Doctor: One more push aaannnnnndddddd we have a baby! Ready to find out the sex?
Mom: Oh we already know, it’s a boy.
Doctor (doing a second quick check) Nope, that is definitely a girl.
Dad: MONA PRIMO!!!!
Mom: …
Brace yourself, this is gonna sting… a lot.
Let me just start with, I did NOT want to write this post.
I’m sorry, call me a prude I don’t care, but a girl should not post about her va… her vagi… her lady parts.
HOWEVER, I have “friends” who pretty much demanded I blog about my first Brazilian Wax, so … here we go.
I won’t bore you with a long story on why after 35 years I decided now was the time to become bare down there. Let’s just say there was a wrap dress, a gust of wind, and a horrified expression on Ashley’s face that resulted in me making an appointment at Trixie’s Beauty Bar.
Now there a few things you should know about your first Brazilian Wax:
1. Take Ibuprofen BEFORE the appointment; it’s all about a preemptive strike people, and not shutting the bar door after the horses are already out… or something like that.
2. When offered wine by your esthetician Tracy, YOU SAY YES! I don’t care that its 9am, this is one of those few times when drinking wine in the morning is TOTALLY acceptable. But you should only drink white wine; let’s try to keep it classy Portland.
3. Do not be embarrassed when you bare it all to Tracy, and I do mean ALL, like I have this birth mark on my… never mind. What I’m trying to say is it’s just like your yearly pap exam, except Tracy’s not shoving a cold metal object up your wahoo, and she has wine. Honestly, I’d enjoy my pap exams way more if they included an open bar.
4. Surprisingly someone patting your leg, after ripping off all your lady part hairs, does actually take your mind off the pain. Although for me it was mainly because I was focused on flexing my leg so there was no Jell-O wiggley aftershocks happening on my thighs. Oh what ever, you’d do the same thing!
5. The reveal will surprise you, seriously. I hadn’t seen it hairless mole rat down there since I was 8, it was a bit of a shock, but probably not for the reason you’re thinking. (Yes, I did just compare it to a hairless mole rat… shut up… and stop laughing.)
Ashley: SO how’s it look!?
Me: um… okay… I mean good, I like it! It’s just… um…
Ashley: Good Lord What!?
Me: well… I’m not sure… but… aah… I think it was sticking its tongue out at me.
Ashley:.. really.
Me: ya, did yours do that?
Ashley: No, but I gotta say I’m not surprised.
Me: Really, why?
Ashley: Well it just seems natural that your vagina would have a sense of humor.
Me: … ha ha, thanks a lot.
Posted in Humor
Tagged blogging, Friends, Humor, laugh, life, naked mole rat, too much, waxing
13 Comments
2 Geeky Girly Girls… you’ve been warned
So as I mentioned in my last post, Ashley and I have decided to use our geeky awesomeness for good and are starting a video podcast…
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Control yourselves people!! oh wait… that was me… anywho. We’re so series about this we’ve actually already created a page on Facebook ,we need 25 people to “like” us to be a real page, but we’re almost there and you know the minute we get 25 I’m breaking out my Sally Field Oscar acceptance speech… YOU LIKE ME… YOU REALLY LIKE ME!
And we’re on the Twitter (@2GeekyGirlyGirl … no s… apparently we’re too wordy for Twitter, but seriously WHO ISN’T!?!
So stay tuned on either of those sites and we’ll have your weekly dose of geeky girly awesomeness coming soon!
… tee hee… I said coming… okay no more wine for me… well maybe a little.
Play by play of our WHO EXTRAVAGANZA!
So as I mentioned in my last post, there is a Dr. Who themed pub in Portland.
After much shrieking and dancing around like little girls Ashley, my fellow geek enthusiast and best bud, and I departed for our Who adventure.
I wanted to give a second by second play of events but Ashley pointed out that some of my readers may not be as geekly awesome as us and could get bored with THAT much detail… I don’t believe it but agreed to shorten it to minute by minute.
4:30pm Ashley and I sneak out of work early and begin the drive to the promise land.
4:55 Ashley and I sit in traffic on the I-5 yelling insults at everyone on the road for Dr. Who blocking us!
5:05 Due to some faulty navigating, my bad, we pass the pub and continue 2 miles north in the wrong direction.
5:10 After we realize our mistake, and Ashley stops beating me with my own phone, we turn around.
5:20 WE ARRIVE!
5:21 Find parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT… it’s a sign of the awesomeness to come.
5:22 First photo opportunity at front door.
5:23 We realize that was actually not the front door and quickly follow the sign that says “Front door ==>”.
5:24 WE ARRIVE… again.
5:25 We stand in awe looking at all the Dr Who stuff.
Actual size.. note christmas lights to the right. BUT owner says he's in the process of making a life size version!!
5:26 Sit down and quickly order the large onion rings, clam chowder soup, bangers and mash, and fish and chips… we were a little pekish.
5:27 – 5:35 Discuss if this momentous occasion means we can break our dry month 6 days early. (Ashley, being a true and loyal friend, has been doing the dry month with me in a show of solidarity… and cause I’m her main drinking partner and it would have been a pretty boring month either way)
5:36 We cave and I order a UK size Pint of Guinness… UK SIZE PEOPLE!!! (you would have caved too)
5:41 Guinness arrives
5:44 Guinness finished
5:55 HUBBY ARRIVES!!!
5:56 Hubby orders a UK size Pint of Guinness and offers me a sip… I come clean and tell him I already had one… Hubby says he knew it and was testing me for honesty… I get mad at Hubby’s lack of trust… Ashley tells me to shut up cause he’s letting me off… I grudgingly agree and thank Hubby… he replies “no problem… alchy”… bad feeling this nickname is gonna stick.
6:00 Food arrives, Hubby asks how we knew to order food for him… uh…
6:01 – 7:59 All eating no talking, food is AMAZING!
7:05 Dr Who walks in… I shit you not.
7:06 Ashley and I whisper frantically about our game plan for getting a pic with Dr Who. Hubby (rolling eyes) gets up, walks over to Dr. Who and asks for a picture op with the 2 girls squealing in the corner … Dr Who agrees… my husband is a GOD!
Dude even had the Sonic Screwdriver!
7:15 I had to pee and stumbled upon the Tardis (aka bathroom door).
Suprisingly NOT bigger on the inside.
7:20 Ashley finds her favorite doctor and the make out session begins.
7:50 After a 30 minute argument over the pros and cons of David Tennant as the best Doctor of all the Doctors (Ashley was pros, I was cons) we come to a ground breaking realization… together we have an amazing amount of geek knowledge AND we’re freaking hilarious, and that’s not just the Guinness talking… okay kind of, but not completely. Because of this realization, Ashley and I declare we’re going to create our own weekly geek video podcast.
7:52 – 8:10 Hubby works with us on what we’ll need to make this world-changing declaration come to be and decides we should all head home to start working on the first episode.
8:15 Ashley and I wave goodbye to our new favorite pub and vow to return in a month, not that we don’t LOVE our Dr. Who Pub… it’s just our waistlines wont allow us to go there every day.
THERE’S A DR WHO THEMED PUB IN PORTLAND!?!?!
Posted in Facebook/IM Dialogue, Humor
Tagged AMAZING, awesome, dr. who, facebook, FREAKING OUT, geek, nerd, PUB, scifi
5 Comments
How dry I am
So I don’t know if you’ve noticed from some of my posts but I like wine… and gin… and vodka… and, well you get the jist. Anywho I made the mistake of coming home from one of the Bitches Be Happy Hours too happy and didn’t see the trap Hubby had waiting for me.
Me: HI!
Hubby: hello
Me: YOU’RE PRETTY!
Hubby:… thanks
Me: YOU’RE WELCOME!
Hubby: So how was the happy hour?
Me: YOU’RE PRETTY!
Hubby: ya, didn’t you also go to a wine tasting on Wednesday?
Me: YES! IT WAS DE… DELIGH… DELIGHT… IT WAS FUN.
Hubby: and now a happy hour today.
Me: YEP! HEY! YOU’RE PRETTY!
Hubby: ya that seems to be the popular opinion. Babe don’t you think that’s a lot of drinking for one week.
Me: PPPHHHIISSSHHHHH! I COULD DO MORE!
Hubby: Oh I’m sure you could, how about you do less?
(trap laid)
Me: OKAY!
(trap snared)
Hubby: okay, starting at this moment you don’t drink any alcohol for a month.
Me: OKAY! whoa what?
Hubby: You’re pretty.
Me: Shit.
So there you go everyone, I’ve stopped drinking for a month. It’s not hard… it’s just… it’s just… it’s just SO BORING!!!
Me in 3 weeks
But That's For Another Blog 