This is just another example of why working and IMing with Tif brings joy and pain to my life.
Tif
Running downstairs for some Starbucks, coming?
Mona
But we have coffee up here.
There’s even a coffee container marked Wednesday Mystery flavor!!!!
Tif
Gross
Mona
But it’s a mystery… that makes it exciting!
Tif
No, no, no. That makes it scary.
Mona
Where’s your sense of adventure!?!?!?
Tif
Not in my mouth
Mona
and I just snorted coffee
Tif
You’re welcome. 😛
The quarantine has been lifted, Hubby has recovered from his walking death and life is back to normal in our household… kinda.
The problem is our new apartments windows. Don’t get me wrong, they’re fantastic. They are floor to ceiling, big, huge, tons of light, wonderful, fantastic, windows. The problem is really with Hubby, and his constant desire to open the windows, well not just the windows but the screen too.
See these big huge fantastic windows cannot only be slid open, but the screen portion can slide open too, so you just have a wall of open air. VERY COOL, so cool we had to sign a waiver that if we fell out our window we would not sue the apartment complex. You know some dumbass did it for there to now be a waiver included with the rental contract.
Well Hubby LOVES opening them all the way for the effect, but the flies love it too, seeing how this gives them an open invitation to come in and occupy EVERY room of our apartment. This caused a bit of tension between Hubby and I… that ended with an extremely inappropriate use of a broom… that ended badly… really badly.
Me: BABE! Close the $*%&# Window!! These flies are EVERYWHERE.
Hubby: Just shoo them out.
Me: … you’re joking.
Hubby: It works! I did it yesterday. Do you want me to show you how?
Me: oh I most definitely want you to show me how to “shoo” them out. Show me your secret skills oh great fly whisperer!
Hubby:… you’re not as funny as you think you are.
Me: Oh, but I really am.
Hubby: Whatever, so you just take a newspaper and “shoo” “shoo” “shoo”. See!?! One just flew out!!
Me: Ya and passed by 4 other flies coming in. Babe just close the window and swat the buggers!
Hubby: Fine!
Me: WHOA!! Whatchya doing?!?
Hubby: Swatting!!
Me: Not with the broom!! Oh babe this will only end in tears, put the broom down!
SMACK!!
Hubby: …
Me: BABE!
Hubby: what?
Me: Oh My God! Move over, let me see the damage!
Hubby: What? I missed!
Me: No babe, you didn’t.
Hubby: … I’m pretty sure that was already there…
We can so kiss the security deposit goodbye.
Well Hubby’s dying and I’m pretty certain I’m next… SERIOUSLY!!
He just came back from the doctor, after having a fever for 3 days, and said he was diagnosed with Walking Pneumonia… WALKING PNEUMONIA!!
It’s basically just a couple letters off from being the Walking Dead.
… and now my throat feels scratchy… THE END IS NEAR!!!!!!!
Shut up, I am NOT overreacting.
In a last-ditch effort to save myself, I’ve constructed an Immunity Totem out of my anti-bacterial bottle to scare away all zombie inducing germs… my desk animals have already accepted it as their new god.
WORSHIP ME!!!
Hubby, CIA Cat, and I have just finished moving to our new AMAZING apartment , and I have only just now found my laptop. It had been packed up in a kitchen box… apparantly, per Hubby, “it was covered with so much food and crap I just assumed it was ment for the kitchen!”… anywho. Here’s a quick TOP 10 of all the things that happened while I was away!
1. Hubby decided we don’t “need” professional movers.
2. Hubby and I nearly divorce after I drop the couch on his foot… for the third time.
3. CIA Cat gets nervous about all the boxes and activity and barfs in every room of the apartment… AFTER I had steam cleaned the carpets… goodbye security deposit.
4. Hubby decides new apartment doesn’t have enough storage and makes me go with him to Ikea… on memorial day weekend…
5. Hubby and I nearly divorce after I have complete break down in the ridiculously crowded Ikea and claim the ‘Persian Blue Demo Living Room’ as my own and refuse to leave.
6. CIA Cat gets nervous about the boxes and activity in the new apartment and barfs in every room… new apartment has hardwood floors… HAHAHA!
7. CIA Cat barfs on the couch…
8. Hubby and I nearly divorce after he says I have to clean up all CIA Cat barf , as I had laughed at her barfing on the floors.
9. My kickball team Tiaras & Ascots played in the end of season tournament!
10. Tiaras & Ascots were out after the first game… but at the end of season party they got a pretty awesome surprise…
After having another amazing outing with the ladies, I arrived home ready to put my oh so sexy/clumsy moves on Hubby… but he wasn’t home… so I put my moves on the couch, switched on the tv, and grabbed some chocolate ice cream.
However my ice cream/couch/tv night of magic was interrupted by a phone call from Hubby:
Hubby: Babe! Where are you?
Me: At home, where are you?
Hubby: Parked outside.
Me: YAY! Well get up here, I’m feeling lucky and I’ve already had my way with the last of the ice cream.
Hubby: No, I need you to come down to the car.
Me: Oh kinky, I like it!
Hubby: Mona focus! I need you to get the insurance card out of my bag and bring it down to me.
Me: … huh?
Hubby: *sigh* I’ve been pulled over and I can’t find the insurance card in the car.
Me: … huh?
Hubby: *double sigh* (seriously, he did the double sigh, it’s not easy but since being married to me for 11 years he’s perfected it). Look out the window.
Me: Oh my god! Babe, there’s a cop car parked behind you with his lights on!!
Hubby:… I know… Mona. Insurance Card. Now.
Me: On it!
I quickly found Hubby’s bag and tore it apart looking for the insurance card. FOUND IT… except I noticed that the last date for insurance coverage was showing as today… and it was 11:54 p.m.
SHIT!
I ran over to our bin of forgotten mail and quickly started sorting through the pile:
Visa bill… crap
Cable bill… crap, crap
Costco coupons… oohhh sale on 20 gallons of bbq sauce.
Letter from my mom… Hey! When did we get this? Oh she included a picture of her garden, that’s coming along nicely and it looks like dad got the new fence up… MONA FOCUS!
Packet from Insurance Company… YES! New Cards!
I booked it downstairs and ran out to Hubby, who was still sitting in the car.
Me: BABE! I got it!!!
Hubby: Finally!
Me: … but it expires in like a minute.
Hubby: Shit!
Me: BUT I found the new card!
Hubby: … you could have led with that. Well, go give it to him.
Me: Okay!
I turned to run over to the cop car and noticed that he was looking over at his computer screen and hadn’t noticed me yet.
Hubby: What are you waiting for?
Me: For him to see me.
Hubby: Just go over to his window and hand it to him.
Me: Are you crazy!? You don’t startle a man who’s carrying a gun!
Hubby: … Babe.
Me: Don’t babe me, I’m not getting shot for your bad driving!
Hubby: Just go, it’s not like you have a gun!
Me: Sssshhhhhhhhhh! DUDE!! I Can’t Believe You Just Said That!!! You DO NOT joke about having a gun around a cop!! It’s like yelling BOMB at an airport!! Oh great, now he’s looking at me! Probably has his hand on his pistol.
Hubby: Great, now you can give him the insurance.
I slowly inched my way over to the cop car.
Me: Officer Sir, I’m going to hand you our insurance card. But it may have just expired like 10 seconds ago, so I’m also going to hand you our new card.
Officer Sir: … okay… ma’am… you can put your arms down.
Me: oh… right… ha ha ha sorry, here you go.
Officer Sir: Thank you ma’am.
Me: Wow, you’re like really polite. I mean I’m sure you have to be, cause you’re a cop, and they probably train you and stuff, but it really comes across as genuine.
Officer Sir… thank you ma’am.
I looked over at Hubby and gave him two thumbs up. He just glared at me and pointed back to the apartment. I stuck my tongue out at him, slightly bowed to Officer Sir, and then carefully walked back to our apartment… backwards.
Epilogue: So Hubby got lucky and didn’t get a ticket. I, however, did not get lucky, as per Hubby, I was “ridiculous”… he’s so on his own the next time he gets pulled over right outside our apartment and needs the insurance card… cause it’s not in the car anymore 😉
So Ashley and I recorded a new episode for our video blog 2 Geeky Girly Girls regarding our love for Dr. Who and our extreme excitement for its return along with our extreme DREAD for Amy and Rory leaving.
The episode was hilarious and thought-provoking and exciting and emotional and pretty much the best episode we’ve ever done… And then I accidentally deleted it while trying to transfer it from the camera to my laptop.
Ashley was… well… let’s just say she was not happy. And per her I better, post something $%*&@ amazing to make up for my #@$%* screw up.
So I did…
Hubby and I had a fantastic Happy Hour with Ashley, Tracy and Tricia yesterday and spent hours discussing Tracy’s upcoming wedding…
Granted, Hubby had thought he was coming to have dinner with me… and had tried to make a hasty retreat when he realized what was really happening… but by then we had boxed him in the booth and we were deep in conversations involving the pros and cons of colored chair covers…silly Hubby.
So while the ladies and I drank bubbly from a modified diving helmet…
Hubby soothed his anger over my “deception” with a supreme bacon burger and a beer.
(Now while sitting down to type this blog I had originally planned on going into great detail regarding everything us gals had said about weddings. Because, naturally, we were hilarious.
However, Hubby has pointed out that we had polished off 3 bottles of champagne and someone could have said tea cozies and we all would have though it was hilarious… which I think someone did, and it WAS hilarious.
But to be fair, I’ll only tell the story that I know for a fact was truly hilarious as it made the passing by waitress laugh so hard she bobbled her tray and nearly drop a bowl of cheese beer soup on Hubby’s head.)
So, Tracy was getting a little nervous about all the horror stories Tricia and I were telling her from our weddings and asked us what were some of the fun unexpected things that happened at our weddings that made it all worth while.
Tricia told this beautiful story about seeing her Hubby before the wedding and just being so ridiculously happy… it was very sweet and nice and so not like my story.
Tracy: Okay now you Mona, what moment will you never forget from your wedding.
Me: Oh Hubby’s vows, definitely.
Hubby: Really? That’s nice.
Me: Yes, they were nice, if you had said them correctly.
Hubby: Wha?… oh… right.
Ashley: Oh this is gonna be good, spill!
Me: Well Hubby’s vow was; “I will be your refuge in the storm”.
Tricia: Aaahhh, that’s sweet.
Me: Yes it was, I wrote it, but what did you actually say honey?
Hubby:… I will be your refugee in the storm.
Tracy: Oh…
Tricia: That’s…
Ashley: AWESOME!
Tracy: Did people laugh?
Me: Oh ya, and they had finally just stopped laughing from the fly “incident” which had happend just a few minutes before. Seriously my wedding was 10 minutes of talking and 20 minutes of laughing.
Ashley: I demand to hear the fly “incident” story immediately!
Me: Oh well, like my blog says, that’s for another… HEY! Stop throwing fries at me!!!!!
:44 Dancing pink girl in back right with piggy tails… ya that’s me.
:59 My current team, Tiara & Ascots, in light blue.
1:07 Dancing blue girl at home plate… ya that’s me.
1:39 Girl with mouth wide open at bottom of picture… ya that’s me.
1:59 Girl screaming “You’re the best I’ve ever had”… ya that’s me.
(to be fair, That’s What She Said, was the name of our team 😛 )
This is a conversation that Hubby and I had this morning after he found me doing something shocking on our bedroom floor…
Hubby: What the hell!?
Me: *grunt* What? *groan*
Hubby: What are you doing?!?
Me: *gasp* Isn’t it obvious?
Hubby: Well, kind of, but I never thought I’d ever see you do it.
Me: *squeal* 50, YES! GO ME!! What do you mean? I’ve done sit-ups before!
Hubby: When?
Me:… Presidential Fitness Evaluation my Junior year in High School!
Hubby: Oh, well ya, I stand corrected. But why now?
Me: Well I was telling Tif about our new apartment and how amazing it is and how it’s probably the nicest place we’ve ever lived and I began to realize something… we’re totally not good enough for this apartment!
Hubby: Speak for yourself.
Me: No seriously! This apartment is for beautiful, fit, people. People who have dinner parties and hobbies and have towels that match. We need to up our game!
Hubby: My game is up, I look good. And we had a dinner party last week, plus I have a hobby and our towels match.
Me: Okay first off, tubby tummy says what? Second, having the guys over to hang and eat pizza on the couch is not a dinner party. Also playing X-Box is not a hobby, nice try, and no our towels do not match.
Hubby: … Do you really want to start pointing out tummy problems?
Me: … Let’s forget the tummy issues. But seriously, our towels don’t match.
Hubby: They’re all brown.
Me: But not all the same shade of brown… in fact I don’t think some of them started out brown! Oh My God, we’re so not good enough for this apartment!
Hubby: Wow, okay I’m going to work. Hey crazy lady, tell my wife to call me when she gets back.
Me: Sarcastic smart asses are not good enough for our new apartment either!
Hubby: In that case… you’re screwed.
Me: … touche.
But That's For Another Blog 