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Category Archives: Humor
I’ve become a pageant mom and I don’t even have a child… well not technically
Okay, so there’s this contest AZFoothills Magazine has each year for Arizona’s Cutest Dog , and this year I entered Orko. I mean come on, look at that face! Now I mistakenly thought this was going to be a fair … Continue reading
If you live in Arizona, please do not be alarmed by fire balls in the sky for the next month…
After doing some number crunching Hubby and I discovered that we spend around the sum of a small countries national income on eating out. We decided to make all our meals at home… outside… on the grill. Hubby’s request, apparently all … Continue reading
All men should be required to take a kick to the crotch once every year, it will be like taxes, everyone having to pay for the few bad ones. I know that’s not how taxes work but shut up, I’m making a point… badly.
Sorry that’s like a ridiculously long title but DUDE. I received a text from my best friend that SO pissed me off that I… She… We… AAAHHHHGGGGGG!!!… I’m still really annoyed. Best Friend: Dude on a bike just assaulted me through … Continue reading
You people make my ass twitch
Me: My ass is twitching. Hubby: Excuse me? Me: No seriously, my ass is like really twitching! Hubby: Why? Me: I don’t know, although technically it’s not the whole ass that’s twitching, just a cheek. Hubby: … Me: The right cheek. … Continue reading
I tried to cook and ended up passing out, BUT NOTHING WAS SET ON FIRE!
So against my Hubby’s wishes, I cooked this weekend! Granted there has been one or two slight mishaps during my last culinary explorations, I believe we all remember the great turkey fire of ’13. But my favorite little lady, and … Continue reading
Some couples hold hands… some don’t.
Laying on the couch reading an old paperback I had found under my bed while hunting for a MIA flip flop, I stopped reading to ask Hubby if he had ever used the word taradiddle in a sentence, cause the author had just … Continue reading
I stepped on something, almost died, and now my neighbor locks his doors.
I was raised country, which means my feet are always bare. The minute I get home I’ll flip off my shoes and refuse to put them on again until I have to head out to join the civilized world. In my … Continue reading
Emmy was hit by a garbage truck… I was struck blind… and everyone laughed… bastards.
SO, a girl I work with was in a fender bender yesterday, and today, everyone was sharing car accident stories with her to make her feel better. After I finished telling my horribly sad story, everyone was laughing… bastards… here’s the … Continue reading
What do you do after getting skin cancer and having reconstructive surgery… GO BUY A FUCKING CONVERTIBLE… SCREW YOU SUN!!!
Ya… so my nose is still healing after having plastic surgery to cover the hole that my skin cancer removal left… and I just bought a convertible… SHUT UP! I know what you’re thinking… oh and did I forget to … Continue reading
Don’t question my love dammit… Someone hand me a fork!!
Is that not the most confusing title ever!?! I had a MUCH better one, but it was also the final line of this post and I felt like that was having your desert before your meal… which also totally goes with this … Continue reading
But That's For Another Blog 