So my daily activity of couch eating and bathtub drinking has caused some dire effects.

During my last ladies virtual HH some evil bastard suggested we all put on a pair of our favorite jeans. We did laughing, being obtuse and unaware of the devils true plan.

The screams and anguished cries of “BUT THESE ARE MY FAT PANTS, THEY ALWAYS FIT!!”, was horrifying… but a bit of an eye opener.

SO now we’re doing a 30 day 2 mile run challenge… running… for no other reason then for the “joy” of it… these are messed up times my friends.

I’m on day two and a 12 minute mile runner, which apparently earns you, “ahh don’t worry sweetie, you’ll see an improvement soon”, comments.  Which is annoying cause I thought that was pretty good!

The only perk of this is discovering my new life coach in the form of my Runkeeper app audio cues.

I selected “Your Conscience” to give me time/distance updates and inspirational comments.  Some of my favorite:

“You run like a gazelle across the great plains of Africa”

“After you finish you can sit on a couch and drink a whole bottle of wine… just a joke… not really.”

“You’re running as fast as a hippopotamus… and they run fast, seriously!

Actual photo of me running… you’re welcome.