Trust me, this will all make sense soon.

Hubby: I got Orko a present!

Me: YAY!… what is that?

Hubby: It’s a bull stick.

Me: okay?

Hubby: A bull stick, it’s a dried out bulls penis.

Me: EYW! BABE! GROSS!

Hubby: Oh calm down, it’s totally safe for Orko and the guy said dogs love them. Just let me unwrap it and there you go boy!

Me: Great, my puppy’s eating dick.

Hubby: BABE!

Me: WHAT!?! HE IS!!! HIS DADDY TAUGHT HIM!!!

Hubby: Well now you’re just being gross.

Me: Speaking of gross, what is that smell?

Hubby: Wow, is that you?

Me: Thanks… and no.  It smells like dirty socks and really, really dirty underwear. OH GOD, IT’S THE PENIS!

Hubby: UGH, it’s getting stronger! *gag* Why does it smell so bad!?!?

Me: Seriously!? It’s a dried out bulls penis! What’s it supposed to smell like… Roses!?!?!

Hubby: Get rid of it! Oh god the smell is saturating into my cloths!!!

Me: Orko give mommy the penis! No stop pulling! Bad boy! DROP THE PENIS ORKO! LET GO OF THE PENIS!!

Hubby: Stop yelling that, what if the neighbors hear you?

Me: Our big bearded gay neighbors? Don’t worry babe, I’m sure they’ve heard it before.

Hubby: Just give it to me, I’ll throw it outside in the dumpster.

Me: Ohhh, now look how sad Orko is, stop by the pet store and get him something else.

Hubby: Like what?

Me: It doesn’t matter, but if you could try to stay away from reproductive organs that would be great.

Hubby: ha ha.

Orko exhausted after the penis tug of war